Today is Suicide Awareness/Prevention Day. I went with Tia's mom, Michaele, to the "Out of the Darkness" Suicide Prevention Walk. It was amazing. I cried during most of it, but I have never felt so at peace. Trish, Brooke, David, and Blake, I miss all of you, and to anyone out there who has lost a loved one due to suicide, I love you too, and I'm so sorry for your loss
<3 Hugs,
Mariah
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
September 6, 2011
Deja Vu, much? I was just reading my February 11th entry, and I realized something. That's EXACTLY how I feel right now, but with someone else. I am sensing a pattern, here. It's the "I like you, let's text, hang out, make out, OH, never mind I want to date another girl" pattern. Makes no sense to me. If it's true that guys like a challenge, how come he left me for the easier girl, the one who is willing to sleep with him? Hmmm. Frustrating.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
September 4, 2011
So, this might be an insane, intense update. It's going to be part rant, part update, part bawling my eyes out, and part bitching people out.
So, to make a long story short:
As some of you may know, I am not LDS (mormon) anymore. I have my reasons why, and they are too personal to be disclosed here. I moved back home near the end of July, and lived with my "adoped" ginger mom. Not going to mention names, but the man I mentioned previously that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with, played me, and is now dating the girl he was sleeping with the whole time we were dating...
A month after moving back, everything sort of fell apart. I lost the man I loved, my mom kicked me out due to lack of money$, and I had nowhere to go. Until one of my good friends in high school let me come live with her and her family. I am so grateful for them, and everything they have done for me.
That's pretty much the really, super condensed version of everything that has happened within the past month or so since I moved back. It's been crazy, but I have realized some things.
Don't believe something just because you were raised that way. Learn to be independent when it comes to belief. I took a step back, realized that mormonism was not something I believed in, it was something I was used to. I had been mormon for 19 years, and it's not who I was. I thing the LDS religion is totally fine, and some of my best friends are LDS. But, I need to follow what I believe.
Also, if you believe something different than me, DO NOT try and shove what you believe and what you think is correct down my throat. It's not going to change my opinion. Just because you say, "Well, you aren't getting into heaven if you don't go to church", it sure as hell won't want to make me go back. So, zip it.
Ok, well, I think I'm done ranting for today. If I feel like I need to add onto this, I will.
Goodnight, world.
So, to make a long story short:
As some of you may know, I am not LDS (mormon) anymore. I have my reasons why, and they are too personal to be disclosed here. I moved back home near the end of July, and lived with my "adoped" ginger mom. Not going to mention names, but the man I mentioned previously that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with, played me, and is now dating the girl he was sleeping with the whole time we were dating...
A month after moving back, everything sort of fell apart. I lost the man I loved, my mom kicked me out due to lack of money$, and I had nowhere to go. Until one of my good friends in high school let me come live with her and her family. I am so grateful for them, and everything they have done for me.
That's pretty much the really, super condensed version of everything that has happened within the past month or so since I moved back. It's been crazy, but I have realized some things.
Don't believe something just because you were raised that way. Learn to be independent when it comes to belief. I took a step back, realized that mormonism was not something I believed in, it was something I was used to. I had been mormon for 19 years, and it's not who I was. I thing the LDS religion is totally fine, and some of my best friends are LDS. But, I need to follow what I believe.
Also, if you believe something different than me, DO NOT try and shove what you believe and what you think is correct down my throat. It's not going to change my opinion. Just because you say, "Well, you aren't getting into heaven if you don't go to church", it sure as hell won't want to make me go back. So, zip it.
Ok, well, I think I'm done ranting for today. If I feel like I need to add onto this, I will.
Goodnight, world.
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