Saturday, July 23, 2011
I'm going home!
I'm finally doing it! I am going back home to Colorado! I've missed home so much. I have been in Utah for a year, and I'm just not happy here. I want to go back home where I have all of my life-long friends, and family. I am so homesick, and it's time for me to go home. I am going up to Orem this Friday to take photos of my friend's wedding, and then, I'm taking a bus from Provo to Denver on Sunday morning! I am SO STOKED! I will miss all the amazing people that I have met in Utah, though! Keep in touch!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
July 19, 2011
Why do I always do this!?
I keep driving people away that I care about. It's like I'm too scared to let people close, because if they hurt me, the pain will be too much. So, if I keep them at arm's length, there is no chance I can get hurt.
Right?
My younger sister, Madeline, being the very wise 15 year old that she is, gave me some advice. She told me to just write down everything that I am feeling, and not edit it. Just write my raw, true feelings. And I am doing that right now. But, for some reason, the only thing I can even think about, is him. All I want, is him. I've know him since 9th grade, and since the day I met him, I've bee crazy about him. So, why in God's name is this hurting me so much? And why am I pushing him away? He wants to be with me. He is willing to risk being hurt to be with me, and I'm being a baby and being too scared. I've been played and hurt by so many guys, and I just don't trust them anymore. I know he isn't like any other guy. He is sweet, genuine, and all around amazing. But, for some reason, my stupid subconscious keeps putting him with all the other douchebags I have dated. I need to snap out of it or I'm going to lose him.
I keep driving people away that I care about. It's like I'm too scared to let people close, because if they hurt me, the pain will be too much. So, if I keep them at arm's length, there is no chance I can get hurt.
Right?
My younger sister, Madeline, being the very wise 15 year old that she is, gave me some advice. She told me to just write down everything that I am feeling, and not edit it. Just write my raw, true feelings. And I am doing that right now. But, for some reason, the only thing I can even think about, is him. All I want, is him. I've know him since 9th grade, and since the day I met him, I've bee crazy about him. So, why in God's name is this hurting me so much? And why am I pushing him away? He wants to be with me. He is willing to risk being hurt to be with me, and I'm being a baby and being too scared. I've been played and hurt by so many guys, and I just don't trust them anymore. I know he isn't like any other guy. He is sweet, genuine, and all around amazing. But, for some reason, my stupid subconscious keeps putting him with all the other douchebags I have dated. I need to snap out of it or I'm going to lose him.
Monday, July 18, 2011
July 18, 2011
Buh-Bye, Facebook. I'm deleting my Facebook in three days. I'm tired of the drama that has ensued because of a stupid lip ring. People don't know how to keep their noses out of people's business. So, if you still like me, and I still like you, make sure you continue to follow me on here, because this is where I will be updating my music, and photography. I will have separate links for both that I will be posting on here. Also, good news! I'm moving back home, to Colorado Springs, CO. I am not cut out to live in Utah. I have been here for a year, and it was a good learning experience. But, it's time for me to go home, and live life the way I want to. So, I hope to hear from all of you!
Love,
Mariah <3
My music blog: www.miagriggsmusic.blogspot.com
My music email: loveisstronger@ymail.com
My photography blog: www.goldspanelements.blogspot.com
My photography email: goldspanelements@rocketmail.com
Love,
Mariah <3
My music blog: www.miagriggsmusic.blogspot.com
My music email: loveisstronger@ymail.com
My photography blog: www.goldspanelements.blogspot.com
My photography email: goldspanelements@rocketmail.com
Saturday, July 16, 2011
I just had a life-changing epiphany
I. Just had. The most. Amazing. Epiphany EVER.
Ok. So, as most of you know, I put my lip ring in today, full well knowing that I would get flack for it. And I was right. I did :)
But do I care?
No.
I wouldn't have put it in if I was scared of the crap people were going to give me.
It's my life, my face. And, I can't believe you have the nerve to tell me it looks trashy. Well, you know what?? I think your stupid, fake-blonde-barbie-from-Provo look is trashy.
So, there.
I know I'm stepping on toes right now. And I don't care. Because I am SO sick and tired of pretending to be this goody two shoes LDS girl who reads her scriptures every night and prays for the children in Africa, and wants to go to church EVERY Sunday. I do read my scriptures, every now and then, and I pray to help me get through another day in this Hell I'm living. But, I also swear sometimes. I wear tank-tops, short shorts, and I listen to 3oh!3. O em gee, send me to Hell. I'm the spawn of Satan.
So, in the LDS church, it says that looks aren't everything. We shouldn't be so obsessed with how we look and try to fit this physical mold that society has placed on us. That's exactly what I'm doing. And how is a lip piercing any different than an ear piercing?? It's not. Society is just saying it is.
This also goes for other mormons who don't live by the book. I know some AMAZING temple worthy men who never went on missions. I know amazing LDS girls who got pregnant in high school. Or who smoke. What you did/do does NOT make you a bad person.
And the most important thing I have learned today, is that I need to be ME. Even if it means people not liking me for who I am. You aren't worth being friends if you can't accept me for me. Having a lip ring does NOT change who I am. It simply (and BARELY) alters my appearance. I'm tired of being unhappy because I have to pretend I'm a God-fearing girl. I'm not saying I don't believe in God, because I do. I still believe in the LDS religion; that hasn't changed. But, I am human. Sometimes, religion is not a one-size-fits-all ordeal. I'm on this earth to be happy. Not to endure life. That's what I have been doing for the past 19 years. I have been enduring life. It's time for me to do something for me. I want to be HAPPY! And, the only way that's going to happen is if I'm just me. Not someone else. You can comment all you want on this. I am so interested to hear how you can argue this, and tell me that I CAN'T be me.
I'm not, in any way, bashing other members of the LDS church, at all. I still believe in the religion. But, I want to make my own decisions. I'm not perfect. And either are any of you. And, that's ok! We are here to make mistakes, not chastise people for theirs. I also want to say thank you to the people who don't really give to craps about what I do. Because they understand that what I do doesn't affect their life. It's appreciated :) You guys rock!
Sorry for the rant, I just had to get that out.
Also, I'm getting a tattoo soon, and getting my eyebrow done too :)
Ok. So, as most of you know, I put my lip ring in today, full well knowing that I would get flack for it. And I was right. I did :)
But do I care?
No.
I wouldn't have put it in if I was scared of the crap people were going to give me.
It's my life, my face. And, I can't believe you have the nerve to tell me it looks trashy. Well, you know what?? I think your stupid, fake-blonde-barbie-from-Provo look is trashy.
So, there.
I know I'm stepping on toes right now. And I don't care. Because I am SO sick and tired of pretending to be this goody two shoes LDS girl who reads her scriptures every night and prays for the children in Africa, and wants to go to church EVERY Sunday. I do read my scriptures, every now and then, and I pray to help me get through another day in this Hell I'm living. But, I also swear sometimes. I wear tank-tops, short shorts, and I listen to 3oh!3. O em gee, send me to Hell. I'm the spawn of Satan.
So, in the LDS church, it says that looks aren't everything. We shouldn't be so obsessed with how we look and try to fit this physical mold that society has placed on us. That's exactly what I'm doing. And how is a lip piercing any different than an ear piercing?? It's not. Society is just saying it is.
This also goes for other mormons who don't live by the book. I know some AMAZING temple worthy men who never went on missions. I know amazing LDS girls who got pregnant in high school. Or who smoke. What you did/do does NOT make you a bad person.
And the most important thing I have learned today, is that I need to be ME. Even if it means people not liking me for who I am. You aren't worth being friends if you can't accept me for me. Having a lip ring does NOT change who I am. It simply (and BARELY) alters my appearance. I'm tired of being unhappy because I have to pretend I'm a God-fearing girl. I'm not saying I don't believe in God, because I do. I still believe in the LDS religion; that hasn't changed. But, I am human. Sometimes, religion is not a one-size-fits-all ordeal. I'm on this earth to be happy. Not to endure life. That's what I have been doing for the past 19 years. I have been enduring life. It's time for me to do something for me. I want to be HAPPY! And, the only way that's going to happen is if I'm just me. Not someone else. You can comment all you want on this. I am so interested to hear how you can argue this, and tell me that I CAN'T be me.
I'm not, in any way, bashing other members of the LDS church, at all. I still believe in the religion. But, I want to make my own decisions. I'm not perfect. And either are any of you. And, that's ok! We are here to make mistakes, not chastise people for theirs. I also want to say thank you to the people who don't really give to craps about what I do. Because they understand that what I do doesn't affect their life. It's appreciated :) You guys rock!
Sorry for the rant, I just had to get that out.
Also, I'm getting a tattoo soon, and getting my eyebrow done too :)
Thursday, July 14, 2011
JUST TELL ME!
Alright, boys. I'm about to make this real easy for you, so listen up.
If you like me, just tell me.
If you only want to make out with me, just tell me.
If you want to have sex with me, just tell me. Even though the answer will be no.
If you are in love with me, just tell me.
If you want my babies, just tell me.
On the other hand:
If you don't like me, just tell me.
If you find me annoying, just tell me.
But, please, for the sake of your face and other important body parts, do NOT tell me that you like me, and want to date me, then make out with me, and then change your mind and just want to be friends. After about, let's say, a million guys, this game gets REALLY old, SUPA fast.
Also, do NOT tell me that you like me, want to date me, make out with me, and then say you aren't sure what you want, and once you figure that out, you will tell me if you want to date me or not. Because chances are, I ain't waitin' around for ya.
I'm sorry, but the above makes you a player. If you aren't sure if you like a girl, PU-LEEZE. Do not make out with her to solidify your doubts. It's just going to piss her off if you find out you thought you liked her and you didn't, and you used kissing to figure it out. Most girls assume that when you kiss a girl, you like her. Guess I have learned my lesson...
Here's a novel idea! Why don't you take her on some dates (kissing-free), get to know her, and THEN decide if you actually like her or not!
Oh wait. Dating doesn't even exist anymore. My bad.
Dating sucks.
Just sayin.
If you like me, just tell me.
If you only want to make out with me, just tell me.
If you want to have sex with me, just tell me. Even though the answer will be no.
If you are in love with me, just tell me.
If you want my babies, just tell me.
On the other hand:
If you don't like me, just tell me.
If you find me annoying, just tell me.
But, please, for the sake of your face and other important body parts, do NOT tell me that you like me, and want to date me, then make out with me, and then change your mind and just want to be friends. After about, let's say, a million guys, this game gets REALLY old, SUPA fast.
Also, do NOT tell me that you like me, want to date me, make out with me, and then say you aren't sure what you want, and once you figure that out, you will tell me if you want to date me or not. Because chances are, I ain't waitin' around for ya.
I'm sorry, but the above makes you a player. If you aren't sure if you like a girl, PU-LEEZE. Do not make out with her to solidify your doubts. It's just going to piss her off if you find out you thought you liked her and you didn't, and you used kissing to figure it out. Most girls assume that when you kiss a girl, you like her. Guess I have learned my lesson...
Here's a novel idea! Why don't you take her on some dates (kissing-free), get to know her, and THEN decide if you actually like her or not!
Oh wait. Dating doesn't even exist anymore. My bad.
Dating sucks.
Just sayin.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
July 2, 2011
I'm so done. I'm tired of having to deal with all the shit that I have to and I am so done doing this alone. Why doesn't anyone understand how hard this is??
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