February 11, 2011

Ugh!! Being an adult sucks!!
   So, today, I realized something.  Something that makes me mad at myself, and makes me wish I could turn back the clock.  For the past couple of weeks, I have been telling myself that I am over him and that he can't hurt me anymore.  I am so stupid.  I'm not even remotely over this kid, and I probably won't be for a while.  He, being the cruel man that he is, led me to believe he cared about me so much, and that he wanted to be with me, and then, got cold feet, and ripped the rug out from under me.  I'd like to say that I'm a pretty strong-headed girl, and I don't let guys have that much hold over me, but today, I realized, he really hurt me, more than I would like to admit. Somewhere, deep down inside, I wish he still wanted me.  I wish he would change his mind, and tell me that he was stupid for letting me go and that he wanted me back.  But, I know that isn't going to happen.
   The thing that REALLY pisses me off, is that he just loooooves to play with my emotions.  I see him 4-5 days of the week, and some days, he ignores me, and other days, like today, he can't keep his hands off me.  He still flirts with me, and he is totally playing with my emotions, like it's nothing.  Why do men do that? Is it because they get bored with you, but still want you to hang around in case they change their mind? Well, bad news, buddy.  You may have hurt me, but in the end, I may have lost this battle, but I sure as hell won this war.