June 10, 2011

Today is the day that I am making some major changes in my life. I'm living for me, and not anyone else. I still love my friends, and I'm so excited to meet new friends down here, but I'm here for ME. And whoever is lucky enough to cross my path, welcome to the crazy, hectic life of Mariah Jean Rory Griggs.  

I was on the phone for an hour and a half, talking to my amazing red-headed mother. She gave me some amazing words of wisdom. Sometimes, I worry too much about making people happy. It's time for me to live for ME. I need to worry about making sure I am happy, safe and secure. I'm in a new place, so it's a great time to make a new start, on my own. I trust too easily; I let people into my life too easily. I'm not saying that I am not going to let people in my life at all, but I've realized that I have made friends with some people who are more worried about their standing with other people. I need to make sure I'm happy with myself and my life before I start making close connections with others. I have had amazing help moving down here, and I am grateful that I was able to come down to St. George.  I will see you all when I'm happy and successful! 

Also, as much as I hate to admit it, I realized that even though I tried as hard as I could, I did contribute to the drama that has unfolded in the past few weeks. And for that, I want to say I am so sorry to the people that I drug into this, and to the people I hurt, even though I didn't mean to.  I made assumptions that I shouldn't have, and I said and wrote some things that were really hurtful, even though I never imagined that people would actually see the things I wrote. I was hurt, frustrated, and at my wit's end.  So, to all of you, I am truly sorry.

Ah! I feel so much better getting this all off my chest. It really is time for a new start. And boy, am I ready!